Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Sorting through the pain.........

As I consider the implications of telling my personal story  here, I become filled with a sense of dread, and anxiety.
I suppose it gets easier.

Having someone from my inner circle of trust do such a complete 180 on me, has been some of the deepest pain I've felt in my life.

I still have a knee-jerk first reaction of wanting to chide myself for "overreacting'.
I'm beginning to believe that's my FOO grooming coming to the surface--having been
the blame absorber for so much, for so long--has led me to invalidate myself as an initial reaction.

Still working on training myself not to jump to the conclusion that if someone treats me poorly, it must be because of something I did *wrong.*  I'm slowly getting better about that, however.

that is, when I overcome the urge to curl up in a fetal position...

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


Salutations to any & all who may read this.

I've entitled my blog, "New Glasses", to illustrate the point that I've finally come to see the relationships in my life through a fresh set of eyes.

Extensive reading & research into psychology, and personality disorders, has made a strong impact on how I will handle existing relationships, as well as any new ones that may come into my life.

I grew up in a household in which psychological/emotional abuse was the norm, and physical abuse was a little too frequent. I'm only just now coming to understand how that upbringing has set the stage for relationships that were lopsided, or even abusive on occasion. I was groomed to be to quick to take the blame for any and all conflict.